Helping Your Kid When He or She Hates a Sport They Play

hate sports - boy sitting on bench
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Has your child flat-out announced, "I hate sports?" Or maybe you have a kid who once enjoyed athletic activities, but has gradually started to dislike them all. Maybe your teen has suddenly renounced a sport she used to enjoy.

No matter the circumstances, it's important to help them find that enjoyment of sports once again (or for the first time), since sports and physical activity are essential to mental and physical health.

Figure out Why Your Child Hates Sports

Through observation, discussion with other adults (such as caregivers, teachers, and coaches), and conversation with your child, see if you can determine why he "hates" sports. Has he always felt this way, or is this a recent change of heart?

  • Is she frustrated by a lack of skills, ability, or progress?
  • Is he being bullied by a teammate?
  • Is she feeling too much pressure to succeed or compete at a high level?
  • Is his coach unfair or too competitive?
  • Is she still looking for a sport he enjoys?
  • Is he self-conscious about his weight, body, or performance?
  • Does she have a physical condition that is causing pain or discomfort?

For almost every one of these questions, there is a way to manage, lessen, or even eliminate the problem.

Encourage a Kid Who Hates Sports

Once you have an idea of the underlying problem, you can work to address it. If your child is unhappy with the sport she's currently playing, you can help her find something that's a better fit—maybe an individual sport instead of a team one, or vice versa. Encourage her to keep trying different things; that's the best way to find a winner. If she likes the sport she's been playing but doesn't like her coach or teammates, or she feels too much pressure to win, maybe she can switch to a more casual rec league or club, or simply take a break for a short time to catch her breath.

If you suspect bullying by a teammate is to blame for a sudden dislike of sports, don't hesitate to act. Talk to your child's coach about the situation. If it isn't resolved quickly and satisfactorily, go up the chain of command, and pull your child off the team if necessary. His emotional health is more important than finishing the season.

If your child complains of pain or discomfort during or after sports, or you've observed symptoms such as trouble breathing, have her examined by your family doctor. She may have an undiagnosed injury or a condition, such as asthma, that makes it difficult for her to exercise. (Difficult, but not impossible; your doctor can help with treatments or therapies to allow your child to enjoy sports again.)

If you're dealing with a child who is frustrated or disappointed with their own skills or abilities, you have a couple of options. First, empathize with his feelings instead of minimizing them. Then brainstorm some ways to help. Do they need more coaching, or practice at home, or some different equipment? Do they need some coping skills for intimidating situations, like being all alone at the free-throw line? Would they be more suited to a different style of play (say, distance running vs. sprints) or even a different sport altogether?

Especially during puberty, both boys and girls can feel self-conscious about their bodies.

It may seem counterintuitive, but exercise can actually help with this, so keep up the positive reinforcement and look for other ways to encourage physical activity in your teen.

In every case, remember that winning games and competitions or even playing on a team are not the end goal. Helping your child find physical activities that she enjoys and sticks with is.

3 Sources
Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. Biddle S. Physical activity and mental health: Evidence is growingWorld Psychiatry. 2016;15(2):176‐177. doi:10.1002/wps.20331

  2. Lang JE. The impact of exercise on asthmaCurr Opin Allergy Clin Immunol. 2019;19(2):118‐125. doi:10.1097/ACI.0000000000000510

  3. Voelker DK, Reel JJ, Greenleaf C. Weight status and body image perceptions in adolescents: current perspectivesAdolesc Health Med Ther. 2015;6:149‐158. doi:10.2147/AHMT.S68344

By Catherine Holecko
Catherine Holecko is an experienced freelance writer and editor who specializes in pregnancy, parenting, health and fitness.