Bullying Impact Sibling Bullying Effects and Consequences By Sherri Gordon Sherri Gordon Twitter Sherri Gordon, CLC is a published author, certified professional life coach, and bullying prevention expert. She's also the former editor of Columbus Parent and has countless years of experience writing and researching health and social issues. Learn about our editorial process Updated on January 09, 2021 Medically reviewed by Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, PsyD, ABPP Medically reviewed by Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, PsyD, ABPP Facebook LinkedIn Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, PsyD, ABPP, is a board-certified pediatric psychologist, parent coach, author, speaker, and owner of A New Day Pediatric Psychology, PLLC. Learn about our Medical Review Board Print Sue Barr / Getty Images Table of Contents View All Table of Contents Signs of Sibling Bullying Impact Contributing Factors Ending the Behavior Siblings fight. It is a fact of life. They bicker over the television and jockey for the front seat of the car. They even disagree over where to order dinner. But when sibling disagreements become abusive, that is bullying. It is no longer a normal sibling behavior. Violence between siblings is one of the most common types of family violence. It occurs four to five times as often as child abuse. What’s more, about 30% of all children have been assaulted by a sibling. And anywhere between 10% and 40% of children have been repeatedly bullied by a sibling. But even the most severe incidents go unreported. Too often, families dismiss bullying behavior as horseplay or sibling rivalry. Or worse yet, they ignore it. But when one child intentionally hurts or humiliates another, it should be addressed immediately. Signs of Sibling Bullying One of the best ways to identify sibling bullying is to know the three components of bullying. These include a power imbalance, intentional actions, and repetitive behaviors. In other words, when siblings regularly engage in name-calling, humiliation, intimidation, physical abuse, and other forms of bullying, this is sibling bullying. This type of behavior is not normal. Siblings should never be victimized by other siblings. Some people confuse sibling rivalry with sibling bullying. But there is a difference. Sibling rivalry does not necessarily include any aggressive behavior, and in some cases may encourage healthy competition. Impact Bullying between siblings can harm victims in the same ways as those who are bullied on the playground. In fact, one study found that being bullied by a sibling was just as damaging as bullying by peers. Sometimes, sibling bullying is far worse. Not only does sibling bullying impact self-esteem but it also stays with the victim for years to come. When sibling bullying occurs, it disrupts the one place a child is supposed to feel safe—the home. Some victims of sibling bullying struggle with emotional issues during their childhood. For instance, they may feel hopeless, alone, and isolated. They also may struggle with anxiety, depression, and identity issues. Then later in life, they continue to struggle all because of the humiliation they experienced as a child. Victims of sibling bullying also can suffer physically and academically. Not only do their grades slip, but they also may experience headaches, stomachaches, and other physical complaints. The Long-Lasting Effects of Bullying Contributing Factors Sometimes parents play a role in the bullying. For instance, allowing children to continuously fight without intervening is harmful to both kids. "Fighting it out" is never a good option. Kids need help learning how to problem-solve. If they are never taught how to work together and solve problems, they will resort to unhealthy actions to get what they want. In some cases, they may bully one another. Parents also contribute to the bullying if they play favorites or label their kids as “the smart one,” “the athletic one,” "the dramatic one," or even the “the quiet one.” These labels lead to unhealthy competitiveness between siblings that can develop into bullying. Remember, the home is supposed to be a safe place where everyone is loved and treated equally. While envy and sibling rivalry are normal, be sure that it does not get out of hand. Ending the Behavior When one child intends to harm or humiliate another, that is bullying and it must be addressed. The child who is bullying needs to be disciplined and appropriate boundaries should be set. Remember too, not all sibling bullying involves physical bullying. Siblings often engage in relational aggression and name-calling, both of which can be just as harmful as physical bullying. Deal decisively with sibling bullying. Set limits and intervene if the bickering includes rude remarks or name-calling. Require your children to treat their siblings with respect. And step in quickly if disagreements become physical. The goal is that everyone in the family feels loved, nurtured, and treated with respect. 6 Ways to Deal With the Family Bully 8 Sources Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Wolke D, Tippett N, Dantchev S. Bullying in the family: sibling bullying. Lancet Psychiatry. 2015;2(10):917-929. doi:10.1016/S2215-0366(15)00262-X Finkelhor D, Turner HA, Shattuck A, Hamby SL. Prevalence of childhood exposure to violence, crime, and abuse: results from the national survey of children's exposure to violence. JAMA Pediatr. 2015;169(8):746-754. doi:10.1001/jamapediatrics.2015.0676 Vivolo-Kantor AM, Martell BN, Holland KM, Westby R. A systematic review and content analysis of bullying and cyber-bullying measurement strategies. Aggress Violent Behav. 2014;19(4):423–434. doi:10.1016/j.avb.2014.06.008 Tucker CJ, Finkelhor D. The state of interventions for sibling conflict and aggression: a systematic review. Trauma Violence Abuse. 2017;18(4):396-406. doi:10.1177/1524838015622438 Tucker CJ, Finkelhor D, Turner H, Shattuck A. Association of sibling aggression with child and adolescent mental health. Pediatrics. 2013;132(1):79-84. doi:10.1542/peds.2012-3801 Dantchev S, Wolke D. Sibling bullying at 12 years and high‐risk behavior in early adulthood: A prospective cohort study. Aggress Behav. 2019;45(1):18-32. doi:10.1002/ab.21793 Coyne SM, Ostrov JM. The Development of Relational Aggression. Oxford University Press. doi:10.1093/oso/9780190491826.001.0001 Boyse K. Sibling abuse. University of Michigan, Michigan Medicine. By Sherri Gordon Sherri Gordon, CLC is a published author, certified professional life coach, and bullying prevention expert. See Our Editorial Process Meet Our Review Board Share Feedback Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! What is your feedback? Other Helpful Report an Error Submit