Teens Teen Life How Assertiveness Improves Communication Skills By Amy Morin, LCSW Amy Morin, LCSW Facebook Twitter Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, international bestselling author and host of the The Verywell Mind Podcast. Learn about our editorial process Updated on June 11, 2020 Fact checked by Sean Blackburn Fact checked by Sean Blackburn LinkedIn Sean Blackburn is a fact-checker and researcher with experience in sociology and field research. Learn about our editorial process Print Hero Images / Getty Images Teaching your teen how to behave in an assertive manner can be a beneficial life lesson that will serve your child throughout their life. Take a proactive approach to teaching and enhancing your teen’s communication skills. Reasons Why Teens Benefit From Learning Assertiveness Skills Here are ten great reasons why teens should learn assertiveness skills. They're Less Likely to Be Bullied A teen who is able to speak up and say, “Stop that,” or “I don’t like it when you do that,” is less likely to be victimized compared to a teen who remains silent. It can be very difficult to stand up to a bully, but it can be very effective when it is done in an assertive manner. Teens who are assertive can also stand up for peers who are being picked on. They're Less Aggressive If your teen understands how to ask for help or how to get their needs met, they are less likely to resort to verbal or physical aggression. Instead, they’ll be able to express their feelings in a more pro-social manner by using respectful words. A child who can say, “Please stop doing that,” won’t have to hit someone to get their point across. They Communicate Their Needs Communication between peers, parents and authority figures are effective when a teen behaves assertively. Assertive communication reduces indirect communication, like asking someone else to pass along a message, and allows your teen to behave in a polite but direct manner. It also ensures that a teen will talk directly to a person who offends them, rather than gossiping with friends about the issue. They Have Healthier Relationships Teens who can speak up when their feelings are hurt are likely to have healthier relationships. Instead of allowing people to violate their rights, assertive teens can say, “I don’t like it when you do that,” which can help build mutual respect in a friendship or romantic relationship. They Know How to Manage Their Stress Developing an understanding of assertiveness skills can help reduce a teen’s stress level. For example, a teen who is willing to ask a teacher a question will be able to reduce the stress she experiences when they don’t understand the work. Assertiveness skills help a teen proactively solve problems rather than passively allowing bad things to happen. They Have Healthy Self-Esteem Teens who speak up for themselves will feel more confident over time. And the more confident they feel, the more likely they are to behave assertively. Teens who feel empowered to speak up will gain more and more confidence over time as they see how their behavior yields positive results. They're Less Likely to Seek Revenge When people behave passively, they often experience a lot of hurt and anger. This can lead them to later act out in a passive-aggressive manner. A teen who is bullied or picked on may secretly think about seeking revenge. Teach your teen to behave assertively so they can address problems as they arise. They Understand Emotions Communicating assertively requires teens to stop and think about their feelings. This helps them develop a better understanding of their emotions over time. As their emotional intelligence increases, it’s easier to develop strategies to cope with those emotions. They Accept Personal Responsibility Assertive teens can ask for help, say what they need and tell others how they’re feeling. When teens can ask for what they want, they’re less likely to walk around blaming others for how they feel. Instead, they understand that if they want something, it’s their responsibility to try and make it happen. They Resist Peer Pressure A teen who can speak up for themselves will be able to say no to something they don’t want. This means they are more likely to say no to sexual advances they aren’t comfortable with and they’ll be better equipped to resist peer pressure to use drugs or alcohol. How Teaching Assertiveness Can Prevent Bullying 2 Sources Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Avşar F, Ayaz Alkaya S. The effectiveness of assertiveness training for school-aged children on bullying and assertiveness level. J Pediatr Nurs. 2017;36:186‐190. doi:10.1016/j.pedn.2017.06.020 Omura M, Levett-Jones T, Stone TE. Evaluating the impact of an assertiveness communication training programme for Japanese nursing students: A quasi-experimental study. Nurs Open. 2018;6(2):463‐472. doi:10.1002/nop2.228 By Amy Morin, LCSW Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, an international bestselling author of books on mental strength and host of The Verywell Mind Podcast. She delivered one of the most popular TEDx talks of all time. See Our Editorial Process Meet Our Review Board Share Feedback Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! What is your feedback? Other Helpful Report an Error Submit