Tweens Growth & Development The Ups and Downs of Middle School Friendships By Jennifer O'Donnell Jennifer O'Donnell holds a BA in English and has training in specific areas regarding tweens, covering parenting for over 8 years. Learn about our editorial process Jennifer O'Donnell Fact checked by Fact checked by Adah Chung on May 15, 2020 linkedin Adah Chung is a fact checker, writer, researcher, and occupational therapist. Learn about our editorial process Adah Chung Updated on May 15, 2020 Print Caiaimage / Tom Merton / Getty Images By the time a child reaches middle school, friendships have become as important to development as family life. Middle school students crave acceptance from their peers and look to friends to help them navigate through adolescence and everything that comes with it. Friendships make everything more fun and can make even bad days much better. But friendships at this point in a child's development can also be quite challenging. Below are tips to help you prepare your tween for the ups and downs of friendships in the middle school years. Knowing how friendships may change, come to an end or strengthen can help your tween through the friendship challenges he or she will eventually face. The Good It's only natural for tweens to make their friends a priority and, at this point in their development, they may prefer the company of their friends over the company of their parents and other family members. This should not be a concern to you, but rather something to enjoy. Be sure you don't make your child feel guilty for placing such importance on his friendships, it's a normal part of the development and only means that your child is growing his circle of trust to include others outside of the family. Children need a strong network of friends at this age to help deal with life and to have fun while growing up. Many long-lasting friendships may not only survive middle school, but they may actually grow stronger as shared experiences and common interests are discovered. Even friends who attend different schools or are a grade apart in school may still have enough in common to enjoy one another's company. Strong friendships at the age can have a positive impact on your tween's life. The advantages can include: Enjoying time together after schoolHaving someone to talk to or confide inGetting another point of view when dealing with a problemSharing common interestsDealing with school problems (such as a hard teacher or a school bully) togetherKeeping one another out of troubleHaving someone stick up for youKnowing you're not going it all alone The Bad As important as friendships are in middle school, that doesn't mean they will always be easy. Many middle schoolers find that their friendships may change during the middle school years as friends drift apart or form other friendships. Middle school students may no longer see old friends as they pursue different interests or passions, or if students attend different schools they may no longer have the opportunity to connect with old friends. But challenges don't end there. Even strong friendships can be put on trial during the middle school years. Friends may lose their tempers, disappoint one another, or hurt one another's feelings. No friendship is perfect, but many can withstand occasional flare-ups and even learn from them. Encourage your tween to work through conflicts. Saying, "I'm sorry" can mean a lot at this age, and helps children understand that they are responsible for the way they treat others. Strong friendships may weaken from time to time, but if an effort is made to work through conflict, these friendships will likely survive. The Truth About Real Friends Real friends support one anotherReal friends say "I'm sorry"Real friends are not jealousReal friends can be trustedReal friends show respectReal friends listen to one anotherReal friends make an effortReal friends may act like "jerks" some of the time, but they eventually come around Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Get diet and wellness tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy. Sign Up You're in! Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. There was an error. Please try again. What are your concerns? Other Inaccurate Hard to Understand Submit Article Sources Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Lessard LM, Juvonen J. Losing and gaining friends: Does friendship instability compromise academic functioning in middle school?. 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