7 Reasons Your Child May Be Crying

Your Child Is Overtired

When your child is having a meltdown because you gave them the wrong color bowl or you asked them to put on their shoes, too little sleep could be the true cause of their tears.

You can’t prevent a child’s tantrum-inducing fatigue 100% of the time, but you can minimize it by keeping them on a routine sleep schedule.

Start by setting (and sticking to) an age-appropriate bedtime, then factor in daytime naps. You'll want to plan on two naps a day until your child is 15 to 18 months, then one nap a day until your child is about 3 or 4 years old.

An appropriate bedtime will depend on your child's age and what time they typically wake up in the morning. Most kids do well going to bed between 7 and 9 p.m.

Throughout the day, and especially if you notice them starting to get teary-eyed, look for the tell-tale signs of tiredness, such as rubbing their eyes, yawning, or looking a little glazed over in the eyes.

Depending on the time of day, if your child is on the brink of a tantrum but looks sleepy, it might be appropriate to put them down for a nap to help them regain control.

Your Child Is Hungry

Even adults get “hangry.” A toddler or young child will (probably) tell you when they want a snack—unless they are having too much fun playing. If a child is distracted and not communicating with you, it's much harder to tell that they're hungry.

Hunger might be the crying culprit if your little one just woke up from a nap, or if it’s been three to four hours since they last ate. If your child hasn’t eaten in a while and their mood is going downhill fast, try offering them a bite to eat. Keeping a few healthy snacks on-hand can quickly curb the tears when you’re away from the house.

Your Child Is Overstimulated

Exciting play places, like bounce houses or birthday parties, are just where a child wants to be. At some point, however, the hustle and bustle can become too much for some kids. It's not uncommon for a child to be unable to express what is wrong in these situations.

You might see tears when your child is overstimulated. If your little one is crying seemingly for no reason and you’re in a location that’s loud or busy, try giving them a break. Take them outside or to a quieter room and let them sit down for a few minutes to get their bearings.

For some kids, a break might not be enough. If your child is upset and not consoled or calmed, it might be best to take them home early.

Your Child Is Stressed

Stress is a big reason for tears, particularly in older children. As a parent who has to pay the bills and run a busy household, you might wonder what a child has to be stressed about.

The answer is, a lot of things! Kids who are overscheduled—perhaps going from soccer to piano to play practice to playdates—can become quite stressed. All kids need free time to play creatively, as well as to relax.

Kids can also become stressed from what’s going on around them, such as trouble in their parents’ marriage, a move or school change, or even events they overhear on the nightly news. A child might become uncharacteristically teary child if they're feeling the burden of stressful life events—even those that do not directly involve them.

Younger children who are stressed will need an adult's help in changing the environment. By helping them reduce stressful circumstances, you're also giving them a chance to learn to manage their emotions.

Older children can benefit from learning skills to manage stress. From deep breathing and meditation to exercise and leisure activities, healthy stress reduction activities will help your child gain control over their emotions.

Your Child Wants Attention

Sometimes it seems like the tears come out of nowhere. One minute your child is playing happily, you turn your back for a second, and they're sobbing.

Your child knows that crying is a great way to get your attention. Attention—even when it’s negative—reinforces a child's behavior. If you respond by saying “Stop screaming,” or “Why are you crying now?” it can actually encourage your child’s tantrums to continue.

Ignore attention-seeking behavior whenever possible. Avoid making eye contact and don’t start a conversation when your child is looking for your attention. Eventually, they'll see that it’s not fun to throw a tantrum or scream loudly when they do not have a captive audience.

Show your child that they can get your attention by playing nicely, using kind words, and following the rules. Offer frequent praise for these behaviors and your child will be less likely to try and use tears to capture your attention.

Give your child regular doses of positive attention. Set aside a few minutes every day to get down on the floor with them, play a game, or toss a ball back and forth. Your child will be less likely to cry for attention if you give them a few minutes to be in the spotlight every day.

Your Child Wants Something

Young kids don't understand the difference between wants and needs. When they want something, they often assert they need it—and right now. Whether they insist on playing with a breakable heirloom or want you to take them to the park, tears of disappointment and desperation are bound to happen.

If you give in after you said no—either because you feel guilty or you think you can’t stand to listen to more crying—you're teaching your child that they can use tears to manipulate you.

While it’s important to show empathy, don’t let your child's tears change your behavior. Say things like, “I understand you are feeling upset right now,” or “I feel sad we can’t go to the park too,” but reinforce that you’re a parent of your word.

Proactively teach your child socially appropriate ways to deal with their feelings when they aren't getting something what they want. Coloring a picture, saying, “I’m really sad,” or taking a few deep breaths are a few coping skills that might help them deal with uncomfortable emotions.

Your Child Wants to Escape a Demand

When your child really doesn’t want to do something—like put away their toys or get ready for bed—you may see the waterworks. These tears may stem from a child's genuine sadness, but they could also be a ploy. If your child gets you to engage with them, even if it’s just for a minute, they can put off doing something they don't want to do.

Validate your child’s feelings by saying, “I know it’s hard to pick up your toys when you want to keep playing.” At the same time, avoid getting into a lengthy discussion or a power struggle.

Offer one warning, if necessary, that outlines what consequences your child can expect if they do not comply. Try saying something like, “If you don’t pick up the toys right now, then you won’t be able to play with them after lunch.” If your child doesn’t comply, follow through with a consequence.

It’s important to teach your child that even though they feel sad or angry, they can still follow the rules. Each time your child gets upset over a demand you've made, it’s an opportunity to help them learn to take positive action even when they are feeling bad.