Positive Thoughts on Twins and Multiple Pregnancy

Thinking Positive When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads

Twins kissing, a positive benefit of a multiple pregnancy
Twins mean double the love, double the baby bliss. resident_a / Stock.xchng.

If you're pregnant with twins or multiples, congratulations! You may feel excited and happy, especially if you've gone through a long journey to get to this point. It's also normal to feel nervous, scared, or even sad. There are risks to a multiple pregnancy. You may be worrying about losing the babies or wondering if you'll be able to handle caring for them when they arrive.

You may also feel angry, especially If getting pregnant was difficult for you, and now you face a potentially difficult pregnancy and birth.

It's true there are risks to multiples. You do need to be informed of the risks so you can be aware of troublesome symptoms and make informed choices. However, there are also many positive aspects of carrying and raising more than one baby at a time.

Denial isn't good, but focusing on only the negative isn't great either. Here are some positive thoughts on twins and multiples.

Two (or Three or Four) Heartbeats

Remember when you hoped to see any heartbeat on the ultrasound screen? The first time the ultrasound tech detects not just one but more than one heartbeat, you may be thrilled and scared.

But over time, as you slowly come to accept the multiple pregnancy, seeing more than one blip on the screen will warm your heart.

Earlier (and More!) Sensations of Fetal Movement

Mothers of multiples may pick up fetal movement weeks before mothers of singletons.

When the first movements begin, you may need to be very quiet and still. The sensations may be light, like butterflies. As the pregnancy continues, the movements will become more noticeable.

Near the end, people sitting next to you may be able to see the bumps and squirms!

Double the Baby Bliss

As the mother of multiples, you'll get to enjoy double (or triple or quadruple!) the baby bliss. Moms of one may baby may gaze upon their one sleeping child and smile with joy. But you'll get to gaze on one face, and then another adorable face, and maybe another!

You'll also get to go through the thrill of the first smile, the first giggle, the first word, the first step, and so on, more than once. You will also get to name more than one baby. You and your partner can each choose a name instead of arguing about who "gets to name the baby."

The joy isn't less for the next baby. Each big moment is precious.

The Fascination of Watching Multiple Children Grow Together

You may begin to feel like you're witnessing a research study in your own home, as you watch your children develop at different rates and in different ways. We all know that each person is an individual. That said, we don't often get to see babies or children at the exact same age, raised in the same environment, grow together.

For example, your babies may not only start walking at different times but also reach that milestone in different ways. One may scoot and then crawl and then walk. Another may coast around the room and never do much crawling.

If you have identical twins, you may wonder at the things they do that are similar compared to the things they do that are so very unique. If you have a boy and a girl, you may find it interesting how they play or develop in different (or similar!) ways.

Automatic Playmates

Twins may not always become the best of playmates, just like any pair of siblings. But in the younger years especially, they will be their first playmates to each other. The idea of life without their twin won't even occur to them.

As they get older, some twins remain close playmates. They may have an especially close sibling relationship as adults as well.

Automatic Family

If you have twins, and they are your first, you already have the average American family size of two children.

Automatic family!

Get the Diapers and Sleepless Nights Out of the Way

Of course, if you plan on having more, this may not be quite a big advantage. However, if you think these will be your last babies, you'll be able to go through diaper days and sleepless nights all at once, instead of over a period of four to five years.

Your diaper changing and lack of sleep will be more intense than those caring for one baby. Not everyone will agree this is the easiest path.

On the other hand, if you're going to focus on the positives, might as well celebrate the multiples boot camp path—overwhelming but over faster!

Impress Friends and Strangers at Parties

If you've been dealing with infertility for a while, you've probably listened to your share of parents complain about their kids. You may have even heard the infuriating comment, "Consider yourself lucky you don't have kids! They just take over your life!"

Well, now, you can one-up those people.

When they start complaining about their one baby or one young child, you can say, "I have twins." (Or triplets, or quads, whatever you've got.)

For best effect, say it nonchalantly. With a glass of wine in hand.

They are likely to respond, "Oh, I could never handle twins!"

That's when you, again, in a totally calm blissed-out voice, "You're probably right. Personally, I'm in heaven."

And if they declare you super mom or dad, accept that title with pride.

(If you don't feel you're handling the twins or triplets well, that's totally normal, too. Ask for help from those that can offer you positive support. But at the party, go ahead and fib a little about how competent you are!)

Cuteness Overload

Go ahead and be "one of those parents" and put your twins into matching outfits. Your twins don't need to be the same sex to match, by the way. You can totally match boy-girl twins!

There will also be double the photo opportunities. One baby is cute, but two or more babies together is just an adorable overload.

You Only Need to Throw One Birthday Party

Now, some parents may throw separate parties for their multiples. When they get older, they will likely have different friendship circles, so one party may not cut it.

However, when they are very little, you really only have to throw one birthday party. So much less stress, but double the fun in one day.

Focus on the Positive Side of Statistics

Yes, twin and multiple births come with risks. But those risks come with a positive side as well.

For example, if 10 percent of twin mothers experience gestational diabetes, 90 percent of twin moms don't.

If one in four mothers of twins face pregnancy hypertension, three in four do not have problems with high blood pressure.

If 10 percent of identical twins sharing one placenta experience twin-twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS), 90 percent do not.

Sixty percent of twins are born prematurely. But 40 percent are born on time. Of those twins born after 35 weeks, about half are born vaginally.

Be careful not to use the positive side of statistics to ignore symptoms or blow off doctor's orders. Balance your optimism with reasonable caution, and you're more likely to have a healthier and happier twin pregnancy.

A Word from Verywell

Getting the news that you're have twins or more can be exciting but also anxiety provoking. While good prenatal care is a must, and you'll want to gather as much support as possible for the early months and years, there are many things to celebrate about having multiples. There are support groups—both online and in person—for moms of multiples. Don't hesistate to talk to a professional counselor if your anxiety about having twins is overwhelming.

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  • Schmitz T, Carnavalet Cde C, Azria E, Lopez E, Cabrol D, Goffinet F. "Neonatal outcomes of twin pregnancy according to the planned mode of delivery." Obstetrics and Gynecology. 2008 Mar;111(3):695-703.
  • Trying to Get Pregnant. March of Dimes. Accessed February 3, 2012. http://www.marchofdimes.com/pregnancy/trying_multiples.html
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