Fertility Challenges Coping and Moving Forward How to Celebrate National Infertility Survival Day A Mother's Day alternative for those struggling to conceive By Rachel Gurevich Updated May 19, 2018 Pin Flip Email Print Just because National Infertility Survival Day is the week before Mother's Day doesn't mean men can't get pampered, too. Perhaps a couple's massage is how you can celebrate. PeopleImages.com / DigitalVision / Getty Images More in Fertility Challenges Coping and Moving Forward Causes & Concerns Diagnosis & Testing Treatment National Infertility Survival Day is a holiday meant to celebrate and pamper those who have been struggling to conceive. It's not a well-known holiday, but it is very much needed. The day is meant as a Mother's Day alternative. Mother's Day isn't easy for those coping with infertility. It's downright painful. On Mother's Day, the hard work moms put into their families is recognized. But what about the women who are dealing with infertility? They work hard too. Frequently, their struggle is silent and invisible. But now, we have a day of our own — National Infertility Survival Day! The day’s main emphasis is on self-care and celebration for what we do have. It’s also a day for friends and family to make an extra effort to support a loved one with infertility. Just like Mother’s Day, when all the hard work that goes into motherhood is celebrated, on National Infertility Survival Day, we celebrate and honor couples who are desperately trying to become parents. The holiday was founded in 2004 by Beverly Barna, author of Infertility Sucks! Keeping it All Together When Sperm and Egg Stubbornly Remain Apart (Xlibris Corporation, 2002). Barna describes the holiday like this: “I hope National Infertility Survival Day will lift their spirits and give them the impetus to celebrate themselves and that which they do have. This is not to negate the very real despair they may be facing. Rather, it’s an opportune time to stop and smell the Chanel, and also to blunt the emotional pummeling that can occur leading up to, on and around Mother’s Day. And it’s also a vehicle through which those close to them can provide meaningful, creative, and fun support." When Is National Infertility Survival Day? The holiday falls on the first Sunday of the month of May. In 2018, the holiday will be celebrated on May 6th. Scheduled for the weekend before Mother’s Day, the holiday's timing is intentional. It's timed to blunt the sadness and frustration that many women feel as Mother’s Day approaches. Why National Infertility Survival Day? “As lovely as Mother’s Day can be for mothers, it can be extremely painful and disheartening for infertile women,” explains Barna. “One can feel terribly left out and ripped off. For me, it tended to be a time when all the disappointment about my situation coalesced around this one day.” The holiday is also a chance to turn around and bring something positive to what is normally a difficult condition. Often, we focus our energies and thoughts on what we don’t get or have not received, despite all our efforts. On this day, we honor and celebrate all we have done to try to have a child. Instead of focusing on our losses, we focus on our strengths. Who Should Celebrate National Infertility Survival Day? National Infertility Survival Day isn’t only for the women and couples dealing with infertility now. It is also a day for those who have gone forward in their lives. Barna explains, “I hope the holiday encourages [those who are not currently dealing with infertility] to embrace the knowledge — even wisdom — they gained in that struggle, and to find ways to support those who are still coping with the ordeal on a day-to-day, month-to-month basis, and who don’t know how it will turn out for them.” How to Celebrate and Spend the Day This is a day just for you. You should celebrate the day however you like! A few possible ideas: Go out to dinner.See a movie or a play.Buy yourself flowers.Get together with friends, either at home or out of town.Pamper yourself by visiting a spa, or getting a massage.Take the day for some creativity — messy art, corny poetry, whatever you like! Some women may feel silly celebrating when they feel they have nothing to celebrate. Our society puts so much emphasis on celebrating after we’ve accomplished a goal. It’s not uncommon for women coping with infertility to feel like failures. But you are not a failure. With infertility, your accomplishment is the effort you’ve already put towards becoming a parent. You may not be able to hold these types of accomplishments in your hand, but they are just as real and deserve to be celebrated. How to Support Someone With Infertility For partners, this is a day for a special gift. Something to brighten her spirits. “Chocolates — unless she’s on a diet, in which case, jewelry is always good,” suggests Barna. “Perfume! Cards! Candlelight dinner! Wine! Champagne! A poem! A trip!” There's no reason, by the way, that you can't celebrate the day together. After all, you're both working hard and facing infertility. Maybe a couple's massage will be the perfect way to spend the day. For family and friends, assuming the couple has let you in on this private area of their lives, anything to bring a smile to their faces is great. Bring over some balloons. Send a funny or uplifting e-card. Sometimes just a phone call letting them know you’re there if they ever want to talk is nice. Whatever you might consider doing for their birthday, those kinds of ideas probably fit for National Infertility Survival Day celebration, too. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Sign up for our Health Tip of the Day newsletter, and receive daily tips that will help you reach your 2018 goals. Email Address Sign Up There was an error. Please try again. Thank you, , for signing up. What are your concerns? Other Inaccurate Hard to Understand Submit Continue Reading