Teens Behavior & Emotions How Parents Can Get Teens to Stop Swearing By Denise Witmer Denise Witmer Denise Witmer is a freelance writer and mother of three children, who has authored several books and countless articles on parenting teens since 1997. Learn about our editorial process Updated on July 09, 2021 Fact checked Verywell Family content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Fact checkers review articles for factual accuracy, relevance, and timeliness. We rely on the most current and reputable sources, which are cited in the text and listed at the bottom of each article. Content is fact checked after it has been edited and before publication. Learn more. by Rich Scherr Fact checked by Rich Scherr LinkedIn Twitter Rich Scherr is a seasoned journalist who has covered technology, finance, sports, and lifestyle. Learn about our editorial process Print Maskot / Maskot / Getty Images Hearing your teen swear or use profane language toward you can be horrifying. You might be filled with anger or you may be so stunned you don't even know how to respond. It's important to respond in a manner that will deter your teen from doing it again. Clearly, you never want your teen to speak to a future employer, romantic partner, or friend with the same level of disrespect. How to Respond to Swearing in a Productive Manner Whether your teen blew up because you said they couldn't go out with their friends or they're angry because you told them to clean their room, swearing at you is clearly unacceptable. The first thing to remember when responding is to stay calm. It can be tough to hear that level of disrespect. But raising your voice or saying disrespectful things back will only make things worse. Take a deep breath and don't say anything until you're calm enough to choose productive words. If you're at a loss for what to do, take a break to think about it. You might even say, "I'm going to go calm down and when I get back, I'll let you know what your consequences are." Don't give in to your teen because you feel guilty or because you know they're upset. If you've said no or you've told them to do something they don't want to do, it's important to enforce it now. Otherwise, you'll teach your child that using profane language and swearing at people is the way to get what they want. It's important to give your teen clear consequences for their inappropriate behavior. Take away privileges, such as visiting with friends or watching TV, for a couple of days. Or you might assign extra chores, like cleaning the garage or mowing the lawn. Make it clear when your teen's privileges will be reinstated. For example, say, "You can go out with your friends again starting Wednesday as long as you behave respectfully between now and then," or "You can watch TV again after you've completed this chore list." Avoid giving vague timelines like, "You can have your privileges back when I can trust you." These statements may lead to more confusion for your teen. Teen Discipline: Strategies and Challenges Strategies to Increase Respectful Behavior in the Long Term If your teen uses profanity toward you, it's a sign that you have some work to do in the respect department. While it's important to take immediate action so your teen understands their behavior was wrong, it's also important to work on strategies that will reduce the likelihood of it happening again in the future. If you have a partner, make sure that you are parenting together as a team to address disrespect. If you disagree, don't do it in front of your teen. And never say disparaging remarks about one another in front of your teen. Saying things like, "Your father is too lenient," or "You know how your mother gets sometimes. She makes crazy rules for no real reason," will reduce the respect your teen has for you or your partner. Next, be a good role model. Manage your anger in healthy ways. Treat others with respect too. If you are mean to service workers or you get into fights with your partner and say disrespectful things, your teen will pick up on your habits. Make sure your teen has healthy coping strategies to deal with angry feelings. Teach anger management skills, such as going for a walk, taking deep breaths, or writing in a journal. Finally, keep in mind that your teen may be imitating disrespectful behavior from media. It could be helpful to reduce their exposure to violent shows or video games where people treat one another poorly. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Get diet and wellness tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy. Sign Up You're in! Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. There was an error. Please try again. What are your concerns? Other Inaccurate Hard to Understand Submit 3 Sources Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. American Academy of Pediatrics. Disciplining older children. Puskar KR, Ren D, McFadden T. Testing the ‘Teaching Kids to Cope with Anger’ youth anger intervention program in a rural school-based sample. Issues Ment Health Nurs. 2015;36(3):200-208. doi:10.3109/01612840.2014.969390 Coyne SM, Stockdale LA, Nelson DA, Fraser A. Profanity in media associated with attitudes and behavior regarding profanity use and aggression. Pediatrics. 2011;128(5):867‐872. doi:10.1542/peds.2011-1062 Additional Reading Chavez D, Steffey CL. Conflict resolution during adolescence. Pediatr Rev. 2012;33(3):142‐143. doi:10.1542/pir.33-3-142