Discipline Styles Common Time-Out Mistakes Parents Make By Amy Morin, LCSW facebook twitter instagram Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, international bestselling author and host of the Mentally Strong People podcast. Learn about our editorial process Amy Morin, LCSW Updated on October 18, 2019 Print altrendo images/Altrendo/Getty Images When used appropriately, time-out can be a great way to manage behavior problems. However, there are a lot of misconceptions about what time-out really is and how it should be used. Here are the five most common mistakes parents make when using time-out: 1. Using Time-Out Too Often Time-out should be used sparingly. If you put your child in time-out several times a day, it will quickly lose effectiveness. Time-out should be used as a tool – but it shouldn’t be the first line of defense, nor should It be the last resort for misbehavior. Avoid putting your child in time-out more than one time per day, on average. If your child misbehaves after serving a time-out, consider a different discipline technique. Take away a privilege or use a logical consequence, rather than using another time-out. 2. Giving Attention During Time-Out It’s common for kids to cry and yell during time-out. It’s also common for them to beg and plead to come out of time-out early. Responding to a child during time-out makes the consequence ineffective. Time-out should be about a time-out from attention. Responding to kids by yelling back or offering reassurance completely defeats the purpose of time-out. It’s important to ignore any bids for attention during time-out. Why You Should Ignore Some of Your Child's Behavior Problems 3. Using a Fun Place for Time-Out If you put your child in time-out in his room, and he spends the time playing video games, time-out isn’t exactly a consequence. Kids need to serve time-out in a place that won’t be filled with fun games. A bathroom, a hallway, or a chair can be a suitable time-out spot. Make sure it’s a safe space where your child won’t get himself into trouble. If you’re giving a time-out in public, find a quiet space where there were be little activity. That may mean you have to leave a public setting to allow your child to serve time-out in a car. 4. Engaging in a Power Struggle It’s common for kids to refuse to go to time-out. But, every minute you waste engaging in a power struggle is a minute your child gets to delay going to time-out. Don’t nag, beg, or engage in a power struggle over time-out. Tell your child to go to time-out and wait five seconds. If your child doesn’t go, offer one warning. Use an if…then statement such as, “If you don’t go to time-out, then you’ll lose your electronics for the rest of the day.” Then, leave the choice up to your child. If he doesn’t go into time-out, take away a privilege. How to Stop Behavior Problems With a Single Warning 5. Lecturing After Time-Out Sometimes parents just can’t seem to stop themselves from lecturing a child right after he serves a time-out. But giving a stern lecture as additional consequences isn't helpful. Neither is saying things like, “I hope you learned your lesson!” or “You do know why you went to time-out, right?” When your child steps out of time-out, allow him to rejoin the family activity. As long as he's calm and able to behave appropriately, there’s no need for further intervention. The point of time-out should be for him to learn how to calm himself down. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Get diet and wellness tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy. Sign Up You're in! Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. There was an error. Please try again. What are your concerns? Other Inaccurate Hard to Understand Submit