Breastfeeding Your Husband, Boyfriend, or Partner

Is It OK and the Reasons Some Couples Consider It

Couple cuddling in bed: Is it OK to breastfeed your husband or partner?

Thomas Barwick / Photolibrary / Getty Images

Generally speaking, breastfeeding your husband, boyfriend, or partner is OK. It's not perverted or wrong if you want your spouse to breastfeed, or if your partner asks you if he can taste your breast milk and try breastfeeding. Many men are curious about breastfeeding, and they're still sexually interested in the breasts even when they're producing breast milk. Plus, many women are more sensitive to breast stimulation during this time and enjoy the sensation of breastfeeding their partners.

Sharing this intimate experience with your husband, boyfriend, or partner can be satisfying for the both of you, and it can even bring you closer together as a couple. So, except for a few circumstances when you shouldn't do it, it's OK to breastfeed your partner.

Concerns About Breastfeeding Your Partner

It's normal to have some concerns about breastfeeding your partner. For example, you may wonder if you'll have enough breast milk to nurse your baby if your partner also breastfeeds, especially if you struggle with your milk supply. But, the additional stimulation at your breast can actually help you to make more breast milk. You can also breastfeed your baby first to be sure he or she gets a full feeding before spending time with your partner.

Whatever your concerns may be, it's best to talk to your partner about how you feel. By having an open line of communication and working it out together, any experiences that you choose to have will be better for the both of you.

Why Would Your Partner Want to Breastfeed?

While some men are not at all interested in their partner's milk-filled breasts, others are curious about breastfeeding, interested in the taste of breast milk, or simply turned on by lactating breasts. This interest is perfectly normal. Here are some of the reasons that your husband may want to breastfeed.

To Feel Included: Since you've had the baby, your partner may feel left out. Your breasts once played an important role in the sexual relationship that you share. Now that you're breastfeeding, he may feel as though your breasts are off limits, or no longer a part of that relationship. Instead, he may feel that your breasts are now reserved for the relationship that you share with your baby, and that's something he may not feel part of. By giving your husband or partner access to your breasts and breastfeeding, he can feel included in the experience.

It's a Fantasy: You husband may be turned on by your lactating breasts, or he may have a sexual fantasy that involves breastfeeding. Erotic lactation and adult breastfeeding (adult nursing) websites and groups exist just for this purpose. So, as long as you feel comfortable, this is a fantasy that you can fulfill for your partner.

It Provides Health Benefits: There are many health benefits associated with breast milk. Breast milk is even used as a medical treatment for certain types of patients. Breastfeeding could potentially boost your partner's immune system as well as his nutritional status.

To Taste Breast Milk: Some men just want to know how breast milk tastes. And, since breast milk is typically creamy and sweet, your partner may like the flavor.

Why Would a Woman Want Her Husband to Breastfeed?

If you've been thinking about asking your husband or partner to breastfeed, you're not alone. Some women are curious about how it would feel to breastfeed their partner or they just want to continue to include their breasts in their intimate relationship. Don't worry; it's not wrong, and here are a few reasons why some women consider it.

It Can Increase Intimacy: Breastfeeding your husband or partner may bring you closer together on an intimate level. Sharing this part of your body and your life with your husband could be a very special and satisfying experience.

It Can Heighten Arousal: Some women are sensitive to breast or nipple stimulation and may experience sexual feelings while breastfeeding. Breastfeeding your husband could bring about an unexpected and enjoyable aspect to your sexual relationship.

It Can Boost the Breast Milk Supply: The additional stimulation and removal of milk at your breast can naturally trigger your body to make more breast milk.

It Can Help to Drain the Breast: Your husband will have a stronger suck than your baby, so he may be able to empty all the areas of your breast. Better draining of the breasts can help remove or prevent plugged milk ducts and nipple blebs. It could also relieve mild breast engorgement.

It Can Balance Out Uneven Breasts: If your baby has a breast preference or one of your breasts does not make as much milk as the other one, your partner can help to even out your breasts by breastfeeding on the smaller or neglected side.

It Can Lead to Greater Support: Your husband or partner may offer you more help and support if he feels included in the breastfeeding process, or if he feels as though your decision and desire to breastfeed has benefits for him, as well. 

7 Situations When Breastfeeding Your Husband is NOT Recommended

In general, breastfeeding your husband, boyfriend, or partner doesn't pose a problem. However, it is not recommended in some circumstances. Here are seven of those situations.

You do not feel comfortable doing it: You should never feel like you are being forced to do something that you do not want to do. Talk to your partner about your feelings and seek help from a healthcare professional if necessary.

You are in pain: If you have sore nipples, the strength of an adult's suck can be even more painful than that of a baby. If your nipples are very sensitive, you have a painful let-down reflex, or your partner bites down on your nipples, avoid the situation. If your nipples become too sore or damaged, you could develop a breast infection, or it could interfere with your ability and desire to continue breastfeeding your baby.

Your breasts are severely engorged, or you have an overabundant milk supply: If your breasts are engorged, breastfeeding your partner may feel like a relief. However, the extra breast stimulation can cause your body to produce even more breast milk and add to your already overabundant milk supply.

You are HIV positive, or you have any infectious disease: HIV and other infectious diseases can enter your breast milk and pass on to your partner. Some sexually transmitted diseases can also spread to your partner through contact at the breast, especially if you have active sores on your breasts, nipples, or areola. Your partner should know the condition of your health and understand the risks involved.

Your partner has an infectious disease, another type of infection, or virus: If your partner has a health issue, especially one that's transmitted through the mouth, he can give it to you and your baby through contact at the breast. Do not breastfeed your partner if he has a health condition that can infect you or your child.

You or your baby have thrush: A yeast infection can pass quickly to your partner and back to you. If you, your child, or your partner develop any of the signs of thrush, call your doctor. You should all receive treatment as soon as possible.

You are pregnant and high risk: If you're pregnant with multiples, you've had a previous miscarriage, or you have a history of preterm labor, avoid any stimulation at the breast. Breast and nipple stimulation can lead to uterine contractions and early labor if your pregnancy is considered high risk.

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Article Sources
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  1. World Health Organization. SESSION 7, Management of breast conditions and other breastfeeding difficulties. Infant and Young Child Feeding: Model Chapter for Textbooks for Medical Students and Allied Health Professionals. Updated 2009.

  2. Karcz K, Walkowiak M, Makuch J, Olejnik I, Królak-Olejnik B. Non-Nutritional Use of Human Milk Part 1: A Survey of the Use of Breast Milk as a Therapy for Mucosal Infections of Various Types in PolandInt J Environ Res Public Health. 2019;16(10):1715. doi:10.3390/ijerph16101715

  3. Kent JC, Ashton E, Hardwick CM, et al. Nipple Pain in Breastfeeding Mothers: Incidence, Causes and TreatmentsInt J Environ Res Public Health. 2015;12(10):12247–12263. doi:10.3390/ijerph121012247

  4. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Breastfeeding: HIV. Updated January 24, 2018.

  5. Singh G, Chouhan R, Sidhu K. Effect of Antenatal Expression of Breast Milk at Term in Reducing Breast Feeding FailuresMed J Armed Forces India. 2009;65(2):131–133. doi:10.1016/S0377-1237(09)80125-1

Additional Reading
  • Lawrence, Ruth A., MD, Lawrence, Robert M., MD. Breastfeeding A Guide For The Medical Profession Eighth Edition. Elsevier Health Sciences. 2015.
  • Polomenych, V. Sex and Breastfeeding: An Educational Perspective. J Perinat Educ. 1999. 8(1): 30-40.
  • Riordan, J., and Wambach, K. Breastfeeding and Human Lactation Fourth Edition. Jones and Bartlett Learning. 2014.
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