Breastfeeding Your Husband or Intimate Partner

Some couples enjoy adult breastfeeding, and it is usually safe for both partners

Photo illustration of intimate partners holding hands

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Generally speaking, breastfeeding your husband or partner is OK. It's not perverted or wrong if you want the person you are intimate with to breastfeed, or if they ask to try breastfeeding or taste your breast milk. What matters most is if both people are comfortable with and enthusiastic about trying adult breastfeeding. If so, go for it.

Many adults are curious about adult breastfeeding, also known as erotic lactation. It's also normal to be sexually interested in your partners' breasts even when they're producing breast milk. Plus, some people are more sensitive to breast stimulation during this time and enjoy the sensation of breastfeeding their partners.

Sharing this intimate experience with another adult can be satisfying for both of you, and it could bring you closer together as a couple. So, except for a few circumstances when it might pose a health concern, it's OK to breastfeed your partner. Learn more about adult breastfeeding, how the practice affects breast milk supply, how to start lactation if you're not already breastfeeding, and when adult breastfeeding may not be safe.

Reasons Why Your Partner May Want to Breastfeed

While some adults are not interested in breastfeeding from their partner's milk-filled breasts, others are curious about adult breastfeeding, interested in the taste of breast milk, or simply turned on by lactating breasts. This interest is perfectly normal. Here are some of the reasons that your partner may want to breastfeed.

Health Benefits

Across the world, breast milk is used as a home remedy for certain conditions. But it's important to note that consuming breast milk has no research-proven health benefits for adults.

Fulfilling a Fantasy

Your partner may be turned on by your lactating breasts, or they may have a sexual fantasy that involves breastfeeding. Erotic lactation and adult breastfeeding (adult nursing) websites and groups exist just for this purpose. So, as long as you feel comfortable, this is a fantasy that you can safely experience with your partner.

Feeling More Included

Now that you're breastfeeding, your partner may feel as though your breasts are off-limits or reserved for the relationship you share with your baby. By giving your partner access to your breasts and breastfeeding, they can feel included in the experience as well.

Tasting Breast Milk

Some partners just want to know how breast milk tastes. And, since breast milk is typically creamy and sweet, they may even like the flavor.

Reasons You May Want Your Partner to Breastfeed

If you've been thinking about asking your partner to breastfeed, you're not alone and there is nothing wrong with this desire. Some people are curious about how it would feel to breastfeed their partner or they just want to include their lactating breasts in their intimate relationship. There are several common reasons why some people consider it.

Balance Out Uneven Breasts

If your baby has a breast preference or one of your breasts does not make as much milk as the other one, your partner can help to even out your breasts by breastfeeding on the smaller or neglected side.

Boost Breast Milk Supply

The additional stimulation and drainage of milk at your breast can naturally trigger your body to make more breast milk.

Drain the Breast

Your partner will have a stronger suck than your baby, so they may be able to empty all the areas of your breast. More completely draining the breasts can help remove or prevent plugged milk ducts and nipple blebs. It could also relieve mild breast engorgement.

For Greater Support

Your partner may offer you more help and enthusiasm about breastfeeding if they feel included in the breastfeeding process. They also may be more supportive if they feel as though your decision and desire to breastfeed has benefits for them, as well. 

Heighten Arousal

Some people are sensitive to breast or nipple stimulation and may experience sexual feelings while breastfeeding their partner. Breastfeeding your partner could bring about an unexpected and enjoyable aspect of your sexual relationship.

Increase Intimacy

Breastfeeding your partner may bring you closer together on an intimate level. Sharing this part of your body and your life with an adult loved one could be a very special and satisfying experience.

Concerns About Breastfeeding Your Partner

It's normal to have some concerns about breastfeeding your partner. For example, you may wonder if you'll have enough breast milk to nurse your baby if your partner also breastfeeds, especially if you struggle with your milk supply.

However, the additional stimulation at your breast can actually help you to make more breast milk. You can also breastfeed your baby first to be sure they get a full feeding before spending time with your partner.

If you have any personal or emotional concerns about adult breastfeeding, talk to your partner about how you feel. By having an open line of communication and working out any uncertainty together, any experiences that you choose to have will be better for both of you. Consult with your OB/GYN if you have any practical or medical concerns about adult breastfeeding.

Can You Start Lactation to Breastfeed Your Partner?

Many people who enjoy adult breastfeeding do so after they're already breastfeeding a baby or toddler. However, nursing a child is not necessarily a prerequisite for breastfeeding your partner. In fact, you can start lactating without first giving birth. However, it's not easy. The process requires a committed effort, which involves consistent pumping or hand expression to start and maintain lactation.

According to La Leche International, it can take about two months to build up your supply. There are also some medications and herbs you can take that may help to support and speed along the process. However, consult your OB/GYN before taking any supplements or medications and with any questions you may have about inducing lactation.

When Not to Breastfeed Your Partner

In general, breastfeeding your your adult partner doesn't pose a problem. However, it is not recommended in some circumstances.

You Feel Uncomfortable

Some people may not be interested in breastfeeding their partner for a variety of reasons. The idea of it may feel uncomfortable, awkward, or simply undesirable. Or they may find it physically uncomfortable. Or they may feel that nursing their baby or toddler is all they can or want to handle in terms of breastfeeding. Or they may not like the idea of sexualizing the practice.

Whatever is causing your reluctance, you should never feel pressured to do something that you do not want to do. Talk to your partner about your feelings and see if you can find a solution you will both enjoy.

You Have Pain

If you have sore nipples, your nipples are very sensitive, or you have a painful let-down reflex, adult breastfeeding may hurt. The strength of an adult's suck can be even more painful than that of a baby. If your partner bites down on your nipples, that could lead to small breaks in the skin that could cause you to develop a breast infection, possibly interfering with your ability and desire to continue breastfeeding your baby.

Your Have Oversupply Issues

If your breasts are engorged, breastfeeding your partner may feel like a relief. However, the extra nursing can cause your body to produce even more breast milk, which can be troublesome if you already have an overabundant milk supply.

You Are HIV Positive or You Have an Infectious Disease

HIV and other infectious diseases can enter your breast milk and pass on to your partner. Some sexually transmitted diseases, including herpes and syphilis, can also spread through breastfeeding if you have active sores on your breasts, nipples, or areola. Your partner should be aware of any risks involved.

Your Partner Has an Infection or Virus

If your partner has a health issue, especially one that's transmitted through the mouth, they can give it to you and your baby through contact at the breast. Do not breastfeed your partner if they have a health condition that can infect you or your child.

You or Your Baby Has Thrush

A yeast infection can pass quickly to your partner and back to you from breastfeeding. If you, your child, or your partner develop any of the signs of thrush, like pain or a burning sensation around the nipple or mouth, call your doctor. You should all receive treatment as soon as possible.

You Are Pregnant and High Risk

If you're pregnant with multiples, you've had a previous miscarriage, or you have a history of preterm labor, talk to your doctor about safe levels of stimulation at the breast. There is some evidence that breast and nipple stimulation can lead to uterine contractions and early labor, so you may want to hold off on adult breastfeeding if your pregnancy is considered high risk.

A Word From Verywell

While the practice is not commonly discussed, some people enjoy adult breastfeeding. There are many reasons you may want to experiment with this practice. Some people find breastfeeding their partner a wonderful benefit of breastfeeding, while others find the idea unappealing. There's no right or wrong, just what's right for you. If you and your partner are intrigued, free to try out adult breastfeeding.

6 Sources
Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. Mayor S. Adult craze for breast milk bought online has health risks, experts warnBMJ. 2015;350(jun17 13):h3287-h3287. doi:10.1136/bmj.h3287

  2. World Health Organization. SESSION 7, Management of breast conditions and other breastfeeding difficulties. Infant and Young Child Feeding: Model Chapter for Textbooks for Medical Students and Allied Health Professionals.

  3. La Leche League International. Breastfeeding Without Giving Birth.

  4. Kent JC, Ashton E, Hardwick CM, et al. Nipple pain in breastfeeding mothers: Incidence, causes and treatmentsInt J Environ Res Public Health. 2015;12(10):12247–12263. doi:10.3390/ijerph121012247

  5. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Office on Women's Health. Sexually transmitted infections, pregnancy, and breastfeeding.

  6. Molitoris J. Breast‐feeding during pregnancy and the risk of miscarriagePerspect Sex Repro H. 2019;51(3):153-163. doi:10.1363/psrh.12120.

Additional Reading
  • Lawrence RA, Lawrence RM. Breastfeeding A Guide For The Medical Profession Eighth Edition. Elsevier Health Sciences, 2015.

  • Polomenych V. Sex and breastfeeding: An educational perspective. J Perinat Educ. 1999;8(1):30-40. doi:10.1624/105812499X86962

  • Riordan J, Wambach K. Breastfeeding and Human Lactation Fourth Edition. Jones and Bartlett Learning, 2014.

By Donna Murray, RN, BSN
Donna Murray, RN, BSN has a Bachelor of Science in Nursing from Rutgers University and is a current member of Sigma Theta Tau, the Honor Society of Nursing.